


Drabbles

by tonystarkpunchme



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Character Death, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-23 17:42:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16163732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonystarkpunchme/pseuds/tonystarkpunchme
Summary: formerly my collection of Fictober 2018 fics, before I decided just 6 days in that I was giving up. who's surprised? no one's surprised.





	1. Fictober 2018, Day 1 - "Can you feel this?"

“I love you.”

The words fell unbidden out of Steve’s mouth, clumsy and quiet, and floated away on the autumn breeze. For a second, he wasn’t sure whether or not Tony had even heard them- but then the boy snuffled and lifted his head from Steve’s shoulder to look at him with bleary blue eyes. 

“...Hm?”

Usually, this was the point where the words would stick in his throat. Where he’d look at his boyfriend (it’d been 2 months and the word still felt weird in his head), at the calloused fingers intertwined with his own and the meticulously mussed-up hair and the soft, reverent smile he still couldn’t believe was directed at him, and a wave of insecurity would crash down over him. Where he’d smile and lean into press a light kiss to Tony’s lips and whisper “nothing,” and resolve that next time he’d say it for real.

This time, the words came easily.

“I love you, Tony Stark.”

For one long, agonizing second, he got no response. And then Tony was leaning up and kissing him hard, and there was tongue and teeth and burning skin and then it was over far too soon and it felt like a firework had gone off in Steve’s head, and Tony was pressed up against him and a part of Steve’s brain was aware that they were on a very public bench in a very public park but really, he couldn’t care less. And now Tony was looking at him again, smiling radiantly, and he opened his mouth to respond-

“Can you feel this?”

“...What?”

“This,” Tony whispered, seemingly completely oblivious to Steve’s utter bewilderment. He made a vague gesture towards their surroundings, and then pressed his hand to Steve’s chest. “All of this.”

Steve frowned. “Tony, I don’t-”

“You give me a reason to live, you know,” Tony said, and Steve’s voice died in the middle of his sentence.

“Er, to live for myself,” Tony continued conversationally, as if he hadn’t just cracked his heart open and handed it over, “does that make sense? I spent so long living for other people...for Howard, so that he’d finally be proud of me, for Avery, so that he could just survive, so that I didn’t lose the last person in this universe who I thought would ever be able to love me…” His voice broke on that last syllable, and Steve instinctively squeezed his hand a little bit tighter and that seemed to ground him again, and he continued. “And now...here we are. And I’ve been so scared to say it, but god, Steve…”

He leaned in and captured Steve’s lips in another kiss, this one soft and warm and lingering. “I love you so, so much,” he murmured, “and it terrifies me because I’m surrounded by love,” another light kiss, this one landing on Steve’s forehead, “and if life has taught me anything it’s that everything will come crashing down but for now…”

He made that same, encompassing gesture. “It’s given me this. All of this. It’s given me you, and Rhodey, and Pepper, and Peter, and so much love I don’t know how to handle, and I plan to hold onto it all as hard as I goddamn can.”

Steve sat in a sort of stunned silence as Tony finished that final, rambling sentence. He’d known about Tony’s...issues, for lack of a better word, in an abstract sense since long before they started dating. And much more recently, he’d become aware of just how much Avery Stark depended on his older brother- and in return, how much Tony depended on him. But this...god, he had no idea how to respond to any of this. Tony had just bared his soul as casually as breathing, and Steve just sat there and listened dumbly, and fuck, he really should say something-

“Steve?” Tony asked, and there was a sudden note of desperation in his voice, “oh, fuck, Steve, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you.”

Immediately, as if he’d been broken out of some kind of spell, Steve found himself pulling Tony into a crushing embrace, resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder and turning to speak softly into his ear. “Don’t apologize, Tony. Nothing to be sorry for.”

Tony shook his head, a look of remorse coming down over his face. “No, Steve, I shouldn’t- it wasn’t fair for me to unload all of that on you, especially right after-”

“Yeah, the timing definitely had some room for improvement,” interrupted Steve drily, drawing a weak chuckle from both of them before his tone went back to serious. “But Tony, I mean it- you don’t have to apologize for this. It just…” He sighed, absentmindedly running a slow hand down Tony’s back. “It caught me off guard, but I’m glad you said it. And Tony...you will never, never have to worry about me leaving you,” he promised. “Never.”

“Don’t say that,” muttered Tony in response, “you haven’t met the parts of me that are harder to love yet.”

 

“I’ve loved you for years, Tony, I don’t plan to let anything Howard the living garbage bag Stark has done to you get in the way.”  
“Steve, as amazing as you are, there are things even you can’t fix.”

 

“I know I can’t fix them,” replied Steve simply. “But I don’t even have to try. Because you’re Tony goddamn Stark, and you can do anything.” He grinned at Tony, who blushed and shook his head bashfully. “And I love you. Every part of you, no matter how broken.”

Tony let out a content hum and leaned into Steve, that radiant smile starting to find its way back onto his face.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come scream at me on tumgle @gaygarbagebaby


	2. Fictober 2018, Day 2 - "People like you have no imagination."

Peter was absolutely, positively NOT freaking out. 

OK, so that was a little bit of a lie. And OK, by ‘a little bit of a lie’ he meant it was an absolutely massive lie. A lie of legendarily huge proportions. A lie that curb-stomped reality and threw it into a bonfire. 

He was NOT freaking out. Not at all. Completely calm. 

“Peter,” remarked Michelle from her spot reclining lazily in his chair, “you do realize that you could just take Ned to McDonald’s and share a Big Mac and all parties involved will be perfectly happy.”

Peter groaned dramatically in response and rolled over, mushing his face back into his warm pillow. “‘S nuh r’m’nic nuff,” he grumbled. 

“Translate?”

He sighed and lifted his cheek just far enough from the pillow to speak in a non-muffled voice. “That’s not romantic enough.”

Michelle scoffed, and Peter was certain that if bothered to look over he’d see her raising an eyebrow at him, arms crossed. “You’ve said that 17 times about 17 different places.” 

“Yeah, well, I can’t think of anything that is.”

“I swear, Peter, people like you have no imagination.”

Peter frowned in confusion. “People like me?” This time he did actually pry himself up to support himself with his elbows and look over at Michelle. “What do you mean, people like me?”

“She means boys, Peter.” Avery piped up, head appearing at the top of Peter’s peripheral vision as he (presumably) leaned over the edge of the top bunk to grin at him.

Peter blinked, then flopped back down into a prone position. “Pretty sure you just implicated yourself there too, Avery. Also, this is sexism.”

“Complaining about sexism against men is just an antifeminist dog-whistle.”

“Michelle-”

“The existence of the patriarchy doesn’t prevent or negate discrimination on an individual level,” Avery retorted, and Michelle was drawing breath to reply when Peter hurled his pillow at her. (Softly).

“Guys, this is supposed to be about me being unable to think of a good place for a first date with Ned, not your leftist squabbling.”

“I was joking,” muttered Michelle, tossing the pillow back at Peter.

“I wasn’t,” offered Avery sweetly, and Peter swung the pillow at his face, grinning in spite of himself as it rapidly disappeared from view. “OK, Jesus! Back to our regularly scheduled programming of a day in the life of disaster gay Peter Parker.”

“Disaster bi, get it right.”

“Whatever.” Avery snorted. “God, Peter, we live in _New York City_. There are approximately nine million, three hundred eighty-six thousand, seven hundred twenty-four romantic things to do in New York City.”

“And ninety-nine percent of those things are outside of my range and budget.”

“I will actually pay for your subway tickets, dinner, and whatever the fuck else you need if it means you stop whining.”

Michelle whistled softly. “Generous.”

“Yeah, well, perks of being a billionaire’s son.”

Peter rolled back over to see that Avery was once again leaning over the edge of the top bunk, face already turning pink. “You’re gonna get hella dizzy if you keep doing that.” He chuckled as Avery frowned, pulled himself back up onto the top bunk, and clambered down to sit cross-legged on the floor. “...Also, will you actually?”

Avery pulled a face. “I mean, technically I won’t, but Tony probably would. Hell, we can even get you a hotel room for a night or two if you go somewhere really far away.”

“That seems like a little much for a first date,” Michelle commented, and Avery shrugged in acknowledgment.

“Yeah, probably. I still think you guys should go to NYSCI.”

“I still think it’s not romantic,” said Peter.

“Oh for god’s sake, Peter, you two are second only to Tony in terms of science nerdiness,” Avery groaned. “You’re overthinking this. It’s not stereotypically romantic, yeah, but it’s a perfect place to go for a date.” He grimaced. “Assuming all involved parties are aware that it is, in fact, a date.”

“Wait, what?”

“Oh, I took a guy there once,” Avery said airily, and Peter raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Dumbass didn’t even realize it was supposed to be a date, and naturally I was too awkward to tell him.” He huffed. “As if my voluntarily going to a science museum wasn’t a pretty clear indicator that it wasn’t just a regular old hangout."

Peter nodded slowly. “Yeah, that one time we went together you seemed pretty disinterested in everything. ‘Twas still fun, though.” He frowned, eyes narrowing as he tried (and failed) to remember Avery mentioning going on a date an NYSCI at any point in the recent past. “...Who was the guy, anyways?”

Avery pursed his lips together and Michelle let out a short, loud, and very undignified bark of laughter before her hand flew up to cover her mouth.

“...What?”

Michelle averted her eyes, shoulders shaking and hand still clamped over her mouth as she tried to regain her composure. Avery just sighed.

“What?!”

“Nothing. It’s, uh, nobody you know.”

Peter raised an eyebrow at Avery, an expression he’d studiously copied from Michelle, who had returned to her usual unruffled state (although a smile still tugged at the corner of her mouth). “Anyways...please tell me you’ve been sold on the NYSCI, Peter, I don’t think I can do this much longer.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’ll be fun,” he responded. “Although if it goes badly I’m gonna crucify both of you later.

 

___

 

 **_Michelle:_ ** _Oh my god, I have never met anyone so oblivious in my entire life._

 **_Avery:_ ** _i KNOW_

 **_Avery:_ ** _i hate,,,everything_

 **_Avery:_ ** _i mean im not much better so i guess i shouldn’t throw stones but_

 **_Avery:_ ** _godDAMN_

 **_Avery:_ ** _...do you think he and ned would be open to poly_

 **_Michelle:_ ** _...Avery._

 **_Avery:_ ** _im JOKING!!!_  

 **_Avery:_ ** _well_  

 **_Avery:_ ** _kind of_  

 **_Michelle:_ ** _AVERY_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was a lot of fun to write lol
> 
> come scream at me on tumgle @gaygarbagebaby


	3. Fictober 2018, Day 3 - "How can I trust you?"

avery knew pain.

 

he knew bruises blooming across his cheeks. knew razors sliding across his thighs. knew fire, pouring out of the darkness that lay in the back of a throat ravaged by years of bitter, drunken rage. and he knew the dull ache of loss. knew the sting of tears. knew the hollow ring of the realization that they were shed for a ghost. 

 

he knew pain. pain was an old friend.

 

this was something different.

 

this was falling to pieces on the bathroom tiles. retching into the toilet, barbed wire spilling out of his mouth. blood dotting the countertop. the ambient hum kicking into overdrive, every breath stolen from  _ his _ lungs, every laugh ripped from  _ his _ throat, every waking moment an unbearable onslaught of  _ reality _ that swelled in avery’s chest and sent ice coursing through his bloodstream.

 

peter spoke to him, promises like broken glass, and avery swept them under the bed so he wouldn’t cut himself on them later. how can i trust you, he wondered after peter left. how can i trust you when you say you’ll never leave, he wondered, when i trusted  _ him. _ i trusted him and he left. he fought it every step of the way, but he left. he left. he let me down. tony let me down. 

 

steel whispered across his wrists and the memories drained out, disappearing down the bathtub drain. 

 

the fire that lived in howard stark’s chest raged harder than ever, and avery wrapped himself in it and willed it to swallow him and still the ice in his veins refused to melt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made myself sad writing this???? tooth-rotting fluff will come soon I promise for the sake of my own sanity if nothing else. 
> 
> come scream at me on tumgle @gaygarbagebaby


End file.
